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19:15 Wed 13 July 05

I'm back.

I'm a different person, though.

I decided, just now, quite suddenly, that I should post again and let people know (if anyone's still reading) that I'm okay. It's been a difficult 18 months. I can't go back to being who I was. I can't even pretend to be that person any more.

Still, I made some lovely friends while I was here, and I can't go away and keep a clean conscience without some parting word. So, here it is: the parting word.

You who were my friends while I was active here were wonderful. You helped me so much. I haven't forgotten how much support you provided in notes and guestbook entries (and some in email too). I will never forget the warmth you gave me, the hope to go on.

H, the life-destroying former boyfriend, died while I was in HK. A really nasty road smash, I'm told. I've been talking to his ex wife. She's really quite sweet. Knowing that we both suffered from H's bizarre behaviour has helped her. It would have helped me, I think, if I still needed that kind of help.

My parents are speaking to me again. I'm still medicated, but a lot better sorted than before. Not that I want to abandon the internet altogether, but writing somewhere like diaryland just isn't "me" any more. I'm going to potter for a while, maybe learn how to use Movable Type or one of those other publishing platforms, get a serious site, work through my issues. In writing, yes. Public, maybe not.

You who were my friends here, and even casual readers - thank you for being there when I needed you. I hope you are all well and happy. I should, I suppose, read some diaries, but I only dropped in to post this entry. I have a half-baked notion of deleting the past entries, too, but not tonight. So maybe I'll forget, who knows.


hasta la vista
an explanation
very bad karma
this little piggy...

feeling rather...

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