'Bout an hour later they rang, except I was in the bathroom so I came back to find the voicemail light flashing. Thought it would be H again, but no, it was the nice girl from the bank, telling me I'd been "deemed eligible" and "if I wanted to go ahead" I should ring her so she could tell me what documentation I had to provide and how to go about it.
Immediately rang H to pass on the good news but had to leave a message.
Rang the bank girl except she was on another call, and while I was on hold I got the call waiting signal but had to let it go through to voicemail. Then the chap said "she might be a while" so she'd ring me back.
Retrieved my newest voicemail, which was H asking if I'd rung, saying he was still working but I could call him in about 45 minutes.
Then the nice girl from the bank rang back, and while I was on the phone to her, yes indeedy, I got the call waiting beep-beep again, which later turned out to be Nils telling me he was just leaving work and he'd be at my place "in about 50 minutes" to pick up the rest of his laundry.
So it looks like I will get this loan, which will be so wonderful I could cry. ^_^
On the other hand, I have to find the most recent rates notice (I am hopeless at filing), my last tax return thingy and go pick up the Certificate of Title from the solicitor's (again), which requires an appointment. Oh, and get a "statement of earnings" from C3ntr3link (I really do not want search hits for social security, tyvm).
I asked about the "lead time" and she said that firstly she had to send me some forms to fill out and when I returned them I had to include the documentation (as above). That'll be registered post, please, because I don't fancy sending something as valuable as a CT through regular mail.
So I have to get some bits of paper and fill out their forms, then send everything back to her, she'll process it same-day, and with any luck I should have the money by early next week.
Which may not be soon enough to meet H's car repayments, in which case I will have to do something drastic and regrettable like sell (at least a part of, and to a reputable dealer) the Dutch East Indies banknote collection my father gave me for my 21st.
I'm not telling either of my parents that I'm taking out a secured loan with the house as collateral. I'm sure they'd both kill me.
I did, honestly, try to ask my mother for "gap financing", but she somehow figured out I wanted to channel at least some of it to H and flatly refused. In fact, I think she's still pretty pissed at me over that conversation. :(
I hate to admit it - hate to even think about it - but both my parents are disgustingly well-off, all things considered. (Carl also makes a shitload of money, but since I don't deal with Carl we won't grace him with descriptive expletives...) So I should be able to ask them for financial help, but for the most part it's too damn hard. It's not like I'm going to be depriving them of "basic needs", so I should be able to say, "Hey, I know I'm too old to get handouts, but I need to pay off these cards and get a new stove and some new guttering... and I really want to help H climb out of debt just a bit." If I had a better relationship with my parents I think it would be possible. If I had - ohgod - the kind of relationship Alice has with them...
Alice is so much cooler than me in just about every way imaginable. If I didn't love her so much it would be far too easy to hate her guts.
Erm.
I am such a failure. I think that's the problem. My parents are into "hardship breeds character", see. And they adore Carl's wife and Alice's husband, but they are both seriously opposed to H. On the one hand my mother wants me to be happy and has finally accepted that H is The Love Of My Life and that I am devoted to him... but on the other hand she thinks I've "sold myself short"... which has something to do with the fact that both Alice and Carl are high achievers (and always were, and I never was), and they both married high achievers. And here I am, unmarried, unemployed, on a chronic cycle of pills and therapy and non-productiveness, and I "insist on" being in love with this semi-itinerant "washed-up musician has-been" (that's what my father called him the last time we spoke on the subject; I walked out in tears).
What can I say? I'm me, not Alice. I'm me. I can't help it.
Anyway, I've gone waaaay off topic.
Nils turned up to collect his washing.
Which was still on the line.
It rained last night.
His washing was still wet.
"Stupid cow," he said, "didn't you check the weather report?" I said no, I hadn't, and hung my head.
I don't mind in the slightest that he called me a stupid cow. I like cows, see. I identify with the ponderous rumination stuff. :)
So he was annoyed.
The arrangement now is that we will meet for steak on Wednesday and I shall produce his dry washing then.
Okay. As long as it doesn't rain tomorrow.
Then he wanted to hang around for a bit so we sat in the yard (it was dark, but I had the outside light on) and he asked how my day was. There wasn't much I could say since I didn't want to mention that I'd managed to resuscitate my latest journal (that's a touchy subject because he's a nosy prick), nor say anything about the loan, because then he'd just criticise me for not living frugally...
So I let him rattle on about his latest hardware woes (his video card is not playing nicely with whatever game it is he's into at the moment) before gently pushing him off because I had to make a phone call.
Rang H, who at least by then had got my message. He was in the middle of dinner. He wanted to finish his dinner and go to bed, so I didn't keep him long.
He still hasn't reassured me about my status, though.
I'm really afraid to ask.