Didn't happen.
I tried to check my account balance over the phone this morning only to have the menu recording tell me, "Sorry, we do not have a record of account number xxxxx..." I assumed I'd mis-keyed (nerves) and entered it again. Same message. Hmm. Keyed the code for a customer service person.
CSP tells me that my account was closed on Monday.
CSP cannot tell me why my account was closed.
CSP says I have to go to my branch for that. With ID.
Find all my ID and my last statement, take a Valium and head out to my branch, which is near where I used to live and not particularly convenient to get to from here. While waiting for a train ring C3ntr3link and ask them what's going to happen to my payment (which I should have received today) given my nominated account has gone AWOL. They say I have to turn up with ID and provide details of another account. If I want them to put the payment into the same account (once it is revived) I still have to turn up with ID, and with proof that the account has been reinstated. While on the train I ring the lenders and ask if they tried to put the payment in yet. Yes, they say, but the institution refused it. They assumed the bank's system was overloaded transaction-wise and were intending to try again at midday. What would happen, I ask, if I want them to put it into a different account? "Well, we will have to send you another set of forms and you will have to fill those out and return them to us, and it will take about a week, depending on the post."
Being overwhelmed by feelings of doom and damnation I got off the train one station early and sat on the platform and cried.
Then H rang. I couldn't bear to tell him the truth (although I did promise myself I would tell him later, but face-to-face), so I said I was en-route to the bank (which was perfectly true) and I'd ring him later when I'd done something worthy of a status report.
(Either he couldn't tell I'd just been sobbing for 10 minutes or else he assumed my hayfever was really bad again - coz he didn't say anything about my voice.)
Got the next train, went to the bank. Waited and waited and waited. Finally got to talk to an enquiry teller who said the phone banking CSP should have been able to tell me why my account was closed and she didn't understand why I had to come all this way, and I was obviously upset (at least she was sympathetic)... Turns out all those phone banking enquiries I made last Thursday caused my account to exceed the number of free transactions per month and after a certain number thereof they started charging me for them, and said charges had caused my account to be overdrawn.
Bank policy is that an overdrawn account goes three days before they do anything about it. Three days was Friday, Saturday, Sunday (oooh, love the way they count non-business days when it suits them!!). As I hadn't contacted the bank to arrange an overdraft nor put any money into my account by 9am Monday, they closed it (note: they closed my account because it was overdrawn by $5.40). I would have been sent a letter, she said.
Knowing fucking Australia Post I'll be lucky to get that letter next Monday.
To have my account reinstated I would have to cover the overdrawn amount plus the interest (which is just fucking insulting) plus pay a fee plus have at least $20 to put into my account to give it an "acceptable" balance. This adds up to about $50, this being money I don't have.
"And did you know we suspended your mastercard?" she added.
They suspended my mastercard because it too was overdrawn and the piddling amount I put on it two weeks ago didn't even cover last week's auto-debits.
I didn't know (until then) but I wasn't surprised.
Unfortunately my quarterly internet bill comes out of that card on Saturday, so I can expect to be netless until this shitty financial situation is fixed.
*cries bitterly*
To have my mastercard unfrozen I need to pay it off in full. Sure, I can do that - WHEN I get the loan money.
Do we see a catch-22 happening here?
Left the bank, came home, stuck my nose in the Yellow Pages and got the details of three coin dealers in town, took another Valium, grabbed the Dutch East Indies banknote collection and headed out again.
Because even if I had to tell H there was yet another delay, I couldn't face the thought of doing so and continuing to leave him without money - his mobile gets cut off if he doesn't pay the bill by tomorrow, and he's now 4 weeks behind in the rent.
The first dealer I went to didn't take paper money - he was strictly a coin dealer. Thankfully the second one was a kindly grandfatherly type who even made me a cup of tea and put up the "closed for private consultation" sign so he could give me his undivided attention.
I rearranged the facts a little and said I was behind on my rent and my phone was about to be cut off, and meantimes I was waiting for a debt-consolidating loan to come through, otherwise I wouldn't be trying to sell. He thought my 1999 valuation was kinda low - he had some kind of catalogue thingy and although the exact details of the collection weren't there (likely because it's a mint set from 1936 and undoubtedly rather rare), he made "a close match" and said I could have a revised valuation at no charge or else he would just make me an offer.
The offer was $650, so lawd knows what it's actually worth.
Perhaps I should have taken the offer as it stood, but I said I would like $400 and for him to hold it for a month. If I had the resources to buy it back within that time I'd pay him 15% interest. If I didn't come back for it he could add it to his stock.
He said that kind of arrangement "wasn't within legal bounds". So I begged. I do think he felt sorry for me. I think he genuinely wanted to help, but he didn't want to compromise his reputation, or something like that.
He did give in eventually. He said he could hold it as if it were "on consideration" and he would make out a receipt for the $400 I wanted in such a way that it was legal, but I would have to sign a statement saying that the insurance was "by private arrangement with a third party". Of course there isn't any damn insurance - if he gets broken into and that collection is taken, we both lose.
But I was desperate enough not to care quite enough that I was doing something unethical (according to me)... so he did the paperwork and I signed on the dotted line and walked out with $400.
SMS'd H that there was money to be collected, and went home.
Promptly fell asleep.
H rang about an hour later. I was so relieved he didn't ask me anything point blank (well, like, "So it's all okay, then?"), just said he'd be over sometime after five.
Went back to sleep. H rang again about 5.30 saying he was running late and wouldn't be over til about 6.30. Went back to sleep.
So he turned up all happy... I asked him to come in and sit down for a minute. Gave him the $400 and said I hadn't been able to draw a bank cheque today, and why (although I really had to force the words out of my mouth), but that meantimes I'd sold something and that's where the $400 came from, and I didn't want to talk about it, but I was going to have to hock or sell something else tomorrow to be able to reinstate my account and therefore get the serious money, so a cheque wouldn't be forthcoming til Monday at the earliest (because Friday is the worst day to queue for anything and I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to handle the stress, assuming of course I can get my account reinstated and the loan transferred tomorrow).
He wanted to give me back $50 out of the $400 for my account but I wouldn't take it. His phone bill is $200 and I really want him to give James something for the rent (the sooner the tension with James goes away the sooner I can finally get fucking invited over there to see his new digs).
So tomorrow I'm going to hock or sell my bike. Preferably sell, because I want $300 for it. $50 for fixing up my account, $50 for me, and the other $200 for H (which will pay the rest of his rent arrears).