I was with H at my father's bedsit but my father wasn't there. My stuff was scattered all over the place. We were supposed to be going to a gig where H would be playing. I wasn't ready. I had found my Docs but couldn't find my camera. He said he would leave without me if I wasn't ready in 5 minutes. I grabbed armloads of stuff and ran up the hall and out the door and tried to call out, "I'm ready, I'm ready!" but my voice squeaked then disappeared. H had just pulled out of the driveway and was only about 20 feet away but he drove off without me anyway.

Then we were at a party, in a room by ourselves except for one girl in a tan sweater and a matching beret. H was feeling me up and I didn't think he should be doing this in front of someone else. I kept trying to gently disengage but he said it was okay and I should relax. We lay down on this old red vinyl-covered sofa and he was kissing me. Then the other girl was lying down with us. I wasn't sure what was going on. I felt vaguely attracted to the girl but I didn't know what H expected of me. He didn't seem to be being sexual with her, only with me, but then he drew back some and seemed to want me and the girl to get it on together. I decided I wouldn't have minded if he'd talked to me about it beforehand (she was really, really cute), then I was worried he was seeing her behind my back and this was some sort of test. Rather than get upset in front of both of them I said I wasn't feeling well and walked out. I went downstairs and distracted myself from emotional angst by remonstrating with someone who'd been drinking my grog.