Made her a card and have nearly finished knitting her present - "yet another scarf". But she likes woolly scarves, something to do with being an even keener Dr Who/Tom Baker fan than I am. So that's okay. Will most likely see her on the weekend to exchange air kisses and hopefully get at least slightly drunk. ;)
Managed to get moo-review sorted out and "reopened". The effects of my recent lack of sleep became apparent when I checked the new template and the new pages... because I'd made some really horrid mistakes that I somehow didn't catch offline, like putting %%title%% between the title tags (meaning I was thinking in diary-x variables, dunno why). Had to edit and resave some pages several times, but got it all working properly after about an hour. Felt exhausted but emailed Bonnie to let her know I was operational (other than the new request form, which doesn't go up til tomorrow).
Also made the hard decision to drop the other two reviewers, Devora and Freelancer. At Bonnie's request I had emailed them to let them know I was taking over moo-review. Okay, it had only been a couple of days, but I hadn't heard back from them. I figured if they were keen to stay on they would have written and said something, so hopefully they won't be upset that I want to review on my own.
(When I'm solvent again I'm going to buy Gold membership for moo-review and make a banner that says "Pssst... wanna be reviewed by an adult?" - credit for which inspiration is due to luminary, heheh.)
I was going have a quick look at the pending sites (of which there are about 30), but H rang, saying he'd be over at about 7, so I had to log off. Wasn't going to have enough time for a shower (though I had warned him I was unwashed) but did do a quick vacuum & tidy of my room.
Then he rang again, saying he was running late. I said it was okay, but really I was annoyed. Could have stayed online longer, or had a shower. Bah.
Practically fell asleep waiting for him. Would have had time for a shower and full moisturising routine if I'd known he wasn't going to turn up until 8. Grrr.
He was coming by mainly to return my leather jacket so I could hock it so he'd have petrol money for the later part of the week. This was fine with me. He could have hocked it himself but it's obviously a women's jacket and he was gonna feel awkward about going in with it, so I said no problem, I'll do it myself. Also offered him a can of baked beans (which I bought the other day). He likes baked beans. I'm mostly indifferent to them. I don't dislike them but I don't love them, either.
He went to the loo, then we had a cuddle standing up. The usual thing happened (a rush of blood to his groin). I was really conscious of being whiffy (especially "down there" - have had some kind of discharge the last few days, not like thrush, though, so I don't think it's serious) and did not want to disrobe. I was hoping to "get away with" giving him oral gratification (which, really, I enjoy - though not as much as he does, I'm sure *snicker*). Did my damn best ;) but he was determined to fuck...
As I was peeling off my fleecy pyjamas I realised that although my nether regions had dutifully lubricated without any conscious effort on my part, I really, really didn't want to fuck, and not just because of being self-conscious about my body odor. On the one hand I know I should feel gratified that no matter what state I'm in, he still finds me attractive enough to want to get naked with me. On the other hand... why can't I just say no? Why can't I just say I'd rather keep my clothes on and let him have all the fun "for a change"? I don't know.
Sigh. Anyway, got naked, did the nasty...
Which I didn't enjoy at all. Not one bit. In fact, it hurt a little. So maybe I do need to see a doctor. (Oh, great.) I can't remember the last time I didn't get any satisfaction whatsoever out of an encounter with H. It was slightly painful to start with, and then it was merely awful. And I couldn't breathe properly. Something about our exact position was squashing my lungs (or maybe my boobs were squashing my lungs). Tried to be calm. Tried to do all the usual stuff I do, and particularly the stuff that I know "sends him over the edge". Just wanted it to be over. Felt absolutely dreadful about feeling that way, but I wanted to be able to breathe again.
And when it was over, he, still wearing his T-shirt, slumped on me, cutting off the air. I worked a hand free and up to his shoulder to pull it away from my face, but it was the fabric in front that was all bunched up and occluding my nostrils... a lost cause. So I had to ask him to move. :(
He went to take a shower and I lay back, panting. I wasn't very sweaty but I did feel like I'd nearly suffocated (though it wasn't that bad, it just felt that way). Tried to be calm. Breathed deeply. Got head spins. Breathed normally instead.
H came back and we cuddled some more. He was talking about something but into the back of my head and I couldn't hear clearly. Hope it wasn't important. :
He got dressed and I threw on some grotty clothes that need washing anyway, so I could let him out. Gave him the baked beans and $5. He said he'd ring me tomorrow.
So now I've rung Nils and said I don't want to hook up for coffee tomorrow - the real reason being I need to do some reviews, not to mention catch up here, though I just told him I was extra-tired lately...
And now...
I think I'm gonna go to bed.