Woke up at 3.15 this morning and was possessed of the urge to attend to the dishes I've been studiously ignoring for the last... uh... two months.
I have these little domestic attacks sometimes. It's just a pity I can't be normal and have them all the time.
Did three sinkloads, minus the cutlery (which I will do before going to bed), by which time it was light and I raided my money box so I could go to the 7-11 and get milk and OJ and cigs. Didn't quite have enough so had to get the el-cheapo OJ which says it's "squeezed daily" but tastes like reconstituted crap with a bit of pith thrown in for texture. Looking forward to being able to afford real oranges again, yes indeedy.
Felt all nice and productive and went around singing to myself for a while. :) Went online and tried to get on with reviews but fell asleep over my mail (well, waiting for some spam to download, during which my mouse pointer went all juddery and I couldn't do anything else), and when I woke up (after about 45 minutes - and was surprised to find I hadn't been idled out) I got confused and forgot I was meant to be reviewing and went to nonags and downloaded about 5Mb worth of stuff including some security/privacy-type utilities which I was hoping would make it easier not be so paranoid when H is using my puter.
Oh, and Pixie, which means I can hoik my rgb colour wheel, except that I won't because it cost $19 and it's pretty, so maybe I'll put it up on the wall instead.
Then I logged off and went back to sleep properly, in bed, til about 2.20, when I decided to do a backup before installing the thingies I downloaded. Installed all but two (one wouldn't install and the other insisted it was already installed, although it wasn't), played with them, then deleted all but four. Coz the rest sucked (as in did not do what I was expecting them to do, or else interfered with another app I consider more important, or else turned out to be too much damn work in the configuration department).
At least now I can wipe the 'recent' files list with a single click.
After that... I went back to bed. Slept a little, woke around 8pm and remembered I was meant to ring Nils. Got his voicemail. Left a brief message and went back to sleep.
Woke around 9.15 and decided to read for a while, then get up and make some dinner (golly, rice again!), and see what I felt like doing after that (the choices being: shower, go back to sleep, do some reviews).
At 9.36 H rang. He actually wanted to return my books (two paperbacks he's borrowed in the last few weeks) and a CD (which he's had for about 3 months). "What, tonight?" I stammered, cursing myself for not having showered already. "Like, don't think I don't want to see you, just that yesterday you said you weren't going to have any time til the end of the week, so I wasn't planning on being presentable..."
Anyway, I said sure, come by. There wasn't much I could do about the state of myself but I did shift the clean laundry off the sofa (again).
I was annoyed. I am almost always annoyed when he does this five-minute-warning thing. Sometimes it happens the day after he's said he won't have any free time for days. Other times it just happens. It pisses me off. It pisses me off mainly because it's not reciprocal - which is to say I can't suddenly get to see him at the drop of a hat. I can't even get myself invited to his new place, forgodsakes. Fuck.
Anyway. I was annoyed.
He didn't technically have to come in but I thought I could offer, then kinda insist. I was half-hoping he'd need to go to the bathroom and would therefore notice that I'd actually done the dishes... because he's been enormously tactful about it these last two months. (Guess I was fishing for praise, or something. Eh.)
But he just sat on the sofa. I sat on the arm of the sofa and he leaned against me and we did our silly kitty routine ("mrau... mrau? meow! purrrrrr!") and then he started groping me. I decided I didn't mind, that I was happy with some kind of physical contact, even if that makes me a hypocrite every time I sound off when I feel like he only comes over to get laid (this happens about a quarter of the time, although I rarely say anything about it directly to him).
He wanted me to sit on his lap. I didn't want my smelly trackies leaving a smelly imprint on his jeans, so I didn't stay long and relocated to his other side (damn small sofa, and why he couldn't sit on the far side in the first place I don't know). Then I got to grope him. ;)
He smelled so nice, I just couldn't help myself.
Oh, well, ah... I did help myself.
You know what I mean.
He had that nice aroused boy smell. I like that.
And I really really really enjoyed making him make funny little noises...
Most of the time I do enjoy it anyway, but sometimes I do it to try to avoid having sex, and other times I do it because I feel it's expected of me. It's so much better to want to do it, to the point where he would have had to forcefully restrain me to prevent me.
Which I suppose makes me evil. :)
Hmm. Well. After that we cuddled briefly, then he noticed the time and had a minor panic because he's got an early start. I didn't want him feeling guilty about running off so I got him another of those choc-marshmallow biscuits and made a lewd comment about his "hydraulics" (so he'd know I was happy and in a good mood, all that)... And then he gave me $20, which means I can go buy oranges and lettuce and onions tomorrow and have REAL oj and a yummy salad or two.
So now I have nothing to be grumpy about, except that I still need to have dinner and my tummy is making ugly noises...