It rained on-and-off all day again. I was annoyed. The Townie was going to be open from midday and I had a half-baked plan to go up and have a decent meal, but the rain put me off.
Slept on-and-off since there wasn't anything else to do... meaning I couldn't manage to make myself write up the week's entries and I didn't feel like reading and I didn't feel like watching TV and I still can't bring myself to ring my mother...
So basically I was waiting for H to ring.
Woke up around 4.30pm realising he hadn't rung yet. Finished the can of UDL I started last night and rang him but only got voicemail, so tried to be chatty and casual and asked him to ring me.
Went back to sleep and had the rather disturbing dream about him (I actually don't dream about him much, which is sorta strange, except when I do dream about him it's almost always that he's busy doing stuff and ignoring me, or in some other way he's not being nice to me). Woke up at 8pm realising he still hadn't rung and rang him again, expecting to get voicemail again, but he answered.
I said something like, "I guess we aren't hooking up tonight, then..." and he said no, he was busy. I said "I wouldn't be that fussed except I need to know, for peace-of-mind, what the hell is this situation that you can't explain over the phone" - then he says it wasn't a good time (meaning for him to talk), so I was wondering then why the fuck he didn't just let the call go through to voicemail (and if it had I would have just assumed he was still busy shifting stuff from K's place and I wouldn't have got stressed about it).
So I said "call me" or something like that, and hung up, and got upset.
Rang Nils coz I wasn't sure if I'd said I would, expecting to get his voicemail, but he answered. Said it was just a quick call because stuff with H still wasn't resolved and I was feeling godawful and I was going to take another Valium to dull the pain... He said we could get together tomorrow for coffee and I suddenly got extremely upset (it just crept up on me) and said I would have to ring him tomorrow if I felt up to it because right then I didn't know...